family and diversity

“Race matters. And it doesn’t.  I cannot detach myself from the biracial aspects of my background.  Though I state this obvious fact about my racial identity, I sometimes wonder how my life would have been different if I were just of a single race.” (426)  Sometimes I wonder what my own like would be like if I weren’t biracial.  I am Latina and German and Irish.  My mother says I have abandoned my German roots because I have invested most of my time fighting for Latino immigrants, studying Latin American history and culture, and speaking Spanish.  But before people find out that I speak Spanish, they assume I am only white—or as the census would say, “non-hispanic white.”  I remember my middle school teacher laughed in my face when I told him that I identify as Latina.  He thought I was lying.  I suppose he didn’t realize that either I was biracial or that not all Latinos are brown.  Either way, I do not think of this experience as racist per se, because my teacher was just ignorant.  But I was disturbed and pissed off all the same.  I didn't appreciate people asking me to choose.  I felt somewhat like Anthony Luckett, I suppose, when he said: "They asked me to write about why choosing or choosing not to choose sides is relevant in my life." (420) Anyway, just recently--in fact, this happens all the time--I struggle with my racial/cultural identity.  When I was at the gas station the other day, the clerk was speaking Spanish on the phone and so I asked him in Spanish for some Camel filters.  He turns to my friend and says, “She’s Argentinian, right?”  People just cannot fathom a white person being part Mexican or speaking Spanish.  I remember when I was little, I always felt a little estranged from my paternal side of the family because I just didn’t look like them.  

Biracial, Multi-racial, mixed, mutt, whatever.
"When you label me, you negate me." --Kierkegaard
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So yes, “race matters. And it doesn’t.” (426) But my father would tell me that one day I would surprise people with my Spanish and white skin.  I was called “guera pecas” (blonde girl with freckles) which was an endearing name to call a Latina that looked white.  When we went to church at La Virgen de Guadalupe (majority Latino congregation), I was the whitest looking person there (except my mother).  I felt at home culturally, but a little different racially.  But afterwards, when we’d go eat with friends at the dining hall, I would always order “menudo”—a typical Mexican soup—which shocked people.  But then I think, why do I have to justify my culture and heritage to people.  What do I have to prove/disprove?  This reminds me of what Anthony Luckett’s mother said: ‘You don’t always have to wear your culture out like that.’ (426)  Because in doing so I am only submitting myself to society as a stereotyped person, instead of creating my own weird and complicated racial and cultural identity. 

Hetero-normative society is just a little too damn
closed minded and exclusive.
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Johnny Lee presents an interesting hetero-normative framework within which he had to sort out his sexual identity.  “I also genuinely felt that God would one day transform me into a ‘normal’ person.” (429)  Moreover, this hetero-normative society we live in is rooted in the hegemony of patriarchy.  Even Johnny Lee understood at some level what was expected of him in terms of “normal” male behavior: “Therefore I went to great lengths throughout childhood to make myself as typically male as I knew how.” (430)  


But yes, race is critical.  And having a good race analysis is imperative.  But, what often gets lost in translation when we struggle for racial equality is the "women question" as Vera Figner said.  Gender issues are equally as important.  And frankly, what pisses me off is that my Tía was not able to accept my gay cousin for the longest time.  My Tía is very Catholic--in fact she's a Carmelite.  My cousin also said--almost verbatim--"im gay" (440).  Later she addressed the issue of homophobia in my paternal side of the family (this also exists on my maternal side as well). I have to struggle with this issue of homophobia at work all the time.  I too have had conversations with Latino immigrants about their cultural training to hate gay people.  Sometimes I would even lie and say I was gay to provoke a conversation and challenge people to accept something unthinkable (to them).  I get the same answer: "Well...man and a man are just not meant to reproduce.  It is biologically unhealthy" (441).  Ridiculous answer, if I may be frank.  Sure, that's what people said about interracial couples.  Blacks were not meant to marry/have families with whites and vice versa.  Ridiculous.  And now, we have collectively --thankfully--come to our senses and have nixed this retrograde mentality.